Sleep, or lack thereof

I’ve always been one of those sensitive types… if someone around me wasn’t feeling well, either unhappy or physically sick, it would bother me. Even as a child I could see and feel people’s pain when others could not. I remember being very young and watching The Sonny and Cher Show on TV with my parents. I couldn’t understand how Cher could be so cruel to Sonny. It looked to me like he was ready to cry but didn’t want to cry in front of their audience. I asked my mom why she was so mean to him and she told me I was crazy (one of her favorite comments to me, the other being “I love you, but…”). I digress. Mom explained that it was all jokes and it was funny, but I knew better. When they divorced a few years (?) later, I think I was the only person in my tiny world who didn’t express total shock. This was my first clue that I was different. They really had no clue about it.

As I grew up, I learned to not allow other people’s emotions to shift my own, but it wasn’t easy. It was a survival skill to be able to tell whether the adults in my life were in the kind of bad mood that causes them to send me outside to play so they could be alone in their thoughts or if their bad mood was the type that would have them using me as a punching bag as they tried to blow off steam. By the time I was an adult, I had pretty much mastered the art of telling my feelings from other people’s with the exception of my daughter, and I’m still working on that.

Lately, the emotional environment around me has been full of anxiety. I guess between the pandemic, collapsing economy and the election, it is understandable, but I have to say it has not been easy on me! I have to continuously put up my emotional barriers and even then it doesn’t always work. The worst of it is not being able to sleep. I have a small window between 4 and 7pm where my eyes get heavy and I desperately want to take a nap, but if I succumb to the temptation I’ll sleep for an hour or two and then not be able to sleep again until after the sun comes up. If I can make it until 11pm, I can get 4 hours with only one short interruption (bladder), followed by 2 hour naps until I decide to drag my weary bones from the bed. If I miss that window, I’m stuck wide awake until somewhere between 3 and 5.

I wonder if this has anything to do with the TCM’s meridian system. Each 2 hour block in the 24 hour cycle of the day id ruled by one of the meridians. The hours are ruled as follows:

Gall Bladder rules from 11pm til 1 am, Liver meridian rules from 1-3am, Lung meridian from 3-5am, Large Intestine 5-7am, Stomach 7-9am, Spleen 9-11am, Heart 11am-1pm, Small Intestine 1-3pm, Bladder 3-5pm, Kidney 5-7pm, Pericardium 7-9pm, and Triple Warmer 9-11pm. I find it interesting that I sleep best my problem areas are highlighted.

I am preparing for a trip to the grocery store, hoping to find some VeeTee jasmine rice. I found it while on my mini-vaca helping a friend move and sort some stuff. I hope my local Weiss carries it as well. If not, I’ll have to order it online which is actually cheaper if you don’t have to factor in shipping charges. The down-side is having to wait for it.

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