Non-inoculation, Coronavirus and lack of Community

Pictures courtesy of Sporeworks.com. They think I’m looking at the spores under a microscope. It’s ok, that’s the law so I don’t want them to get into trouble.

I didn’t inoculate any of my rice bags today. I woke up late (10:00 a.m.) and hadn’t had enough coffee to consider doing the pre-inoculation sterilization of the work space. I just haven’t had the oomph to do more than fan my little mushies (that are trying to fruit for me) several times a day, so I guess the Grand Inoculation will happen on the 15th when the Moon is in Libra and is waxing. I noticed the pins were growing in all directions including upside down, probably because I forgot to line the bottom of the container with a black trash bag before adding the dirt. I had some spray paint so I painted the bottom quarter of the outside of the container in the hopes it would block enough light and make my mushies grow straight and tall. Time will tell.

For Batch #2, I got 4 strains of psilocyben cubensis; Golden Teacher (same as what is currently in the fruiting stage from my first attempt), Malabar because it is interesting-looking, Huautla because I like the name and PF Standard which looks like baby bella mushrooms… might be a good “stealth” shroom; no pic as it just looks like a baby bella. Left to right is Golden Teacher, Huautla, and Malabar. I haven’t decided if I’m going to do them one at a time or a little of each. A little of each might risk cross contamination or something, but I want it all now, so I’ll probably start some of each. I got a few new containers for fruiting, and will probably move the mason jar from the first batch into a new fruiting chamber soon, but I get impatient so I need to space things out a bit. Some things can’t be rushed.

I’m feeling a bit under the weather. I’ve been running a low fever, 99.5° for several days now. My temperature is normally in the low 97s, so this is like a “normal” person having a temperature of 100° and I was getting concerned that my foray into the outside world last week might’ve exposed me to the Coronavirus. CVS is scheduling appointments for testingbut they don’t have enough for everyone so you have to need it. I guess I needed it because they tested me the same day, that was Sunday. I made the appointment online and went to my local CVS 10 minutes before my appointment time. I looked at my app and realized I had made the appointment for the next closest CVS in the neighboring town. I did a mad dash to their drive through window, only to find a line of 8 or 9 cars ahead of me. Well, at least I didn’t lose my appointment. It took almost 2 hours for me to get my turn, but it was quick and easy and painless if slightly uncomfortable, and it triggered a sneezing fit. I got the results about an hour ago (Tuesday) and I am very happily negative. I don’t know what is wrong with me, but it isn’t the ‘rona.

I miss having community. I am living in a place where I know very few people. I miss being able to talk to people about my experiments. I’ve tried signing up for online forums about psychedelics, but none of them seem active. There’s a lot of information in the forums to be gleaned by someone who has the time *and* patience to read through all the posts, but I am so easily distracted I tend to get lost and if I have a specific question it doesn’t get answered.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being alone. I can go as deep into my head as I want without worrying that I’m snubbing someone or hurting their feelings because I didn’t pick up on some social clue or other that I missed. I’m one of those people who are sensitive to others’ feelings, but I miss social cues easily because I’m all up in my head and thinking about myself. If you want my attention, tell me. If you need me to spend an hour paying attention to you, say so. If you’re feeling fragile and need comforting or even coddling, I am happy to help if you let me know. I am not a mind reader, or apparently a cue reader either.

My late husband always complained that I was thoughtless. I tried to explain it to him, but I hadn’t figured it out completely at that point. I would do this when I needed him for something but he didn’t seem capable of doing it for me, sometimes not even when I asked what was going on with him. He never liked to share his feelings anyway, and it was an easy fix. Like most men (although I’ve met a few that aren’t like this) he was amenable to having sex as a fix to the problem, whatever it happened to be. I was ok with that for the most part since we were very compatible in that department. But I digress…

I don’t need constant attention, in fact that makes me very uncomfortable. I do need people that I can reach out to and talk to about whatever is on my mind. I have 2 friends that talk to online on a regular basis and a neighbor, but none of them are interested in the least about mushrooms. Since that is my primary focus right now, dare I say my obsession, I am feeling very lonely.

I’m not concerned that something will go wrong and I’ll ruin a batch. I got good information on the technical aspects of growing, and I truly believe that using the Moon’s sign and element will cause serious growth spurts in Batch #2. I’m not even concerned about tripping while alone. The trauma I suffered as a child gave me a strength that I would not have had otherwise. I know I can get through anything because of what I have successfully endured. Even if the trip should go sideways terribly and it’s a nightmare, I know I will come out of it with new insight about myself. I will survive it, and even if I really believe I can fly, I will confine my flying to my apartment (just in case)so I will be ok for the 4-12 hours the trip will last. I just wish I had a person or two to share this with. It sucks to be interested in something and have nobody to share it with.

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